Thursday, July 29, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Some thoughts on marriage...from a single guy
Hopefully you haven't already been deterred from reading this post because of the title. If you have stuck around, I hope that you find this posting helpful in terms of how you understand marriage, and possibly even help me as I begin to explore what marriage is all about.
Over the past few months there have been some very big things happening in people's lives around me. One of my very close friends has begun to face some serious difficulties in his relationship with his wife. He has tried, and tried, and tried to reconcile this relationship but his wife is continually unwilling to do anything about it because they are "no longer perfect for each other." She is a different person she says, and I would agree with her, reasons for which I will spare.
In speaking with some other people about marriage it has become pretty clear to me that people my age who got married a few years ago are hitting serious road blocks in their respective marriages - road blocks that for some reason are seemingly impossible to overcome.
But it's not limited to people my age either. We even have an older guy living in our house who is suffering some serious issues in his marriage. And in the past year I have spoken to some other adults close to me about issues they have had, and questions that had been raised concerning their own marriage because of it.
So needless to say I have seen some pain as a result of rocky relationships in marriage. But I have also seen some very joyful experiences as well. Holly (my gf) and I have gone to 2 weddings in the past month, and there are several scheduled over the next few months that we are going to as well. So while it's a painful time for some, it is an extremely joyful time for others.
But from all of these experiences, the thing that has come to mind for me is that marriage can be extremely fragile if not handled carefully. And so for a guy like me who is currently not married, and is hoping to be eventually if not sooner, I have to question why that is. Because I for one can say that I do not want to experience what these people who are facing divorce and separations are facing. There is way too much pain to handle - and having counseled my brother through a divorce, and currently one of my best friends, I don't think I could handle that process.
But more than that, more than my feelings, more than the possibility of experiencing emotional pain, etc. there is something that must take precedent when it comes to marriage, and that is what marriage is ultimately meant to be: a covenant.
I was recently reading an article on boundless.org, and it had some things to say about marriage that I have felt for a long time and couldn't find the words to say. Here are some of the quotes from that article, but I would encourage you to go read it yourself:
"The union of marriage is not an alliance of families, with each partner representing a previous set of priorities and loyalties. No, and this was and remains quite radical, marriage is a union that dissolves the old bonds, the old loyalties, the old priorities, and creates one new family, with all that entails — one new set of priorities, one new set of fundamental loyalties."
"The ultimate point of marriage isn't your emotional satisfaction, but to make visible the gospel reality of Christ's love for the church and the church's love for Christ. The absolutely amazing truth of the gospel is that we who were separated and alienated from God have been united by faith to the Son he loves in the New Covenant of his grace. The marriage covenant illustrates the New Covenant; the marriage union points to that even more profound union between Christ and the church."
"The amazing thing that Paul reveals in Ephesians 5 is that the union between a husband and wife is ultimately beautiful because it too stands as a sign, a picture of something else. And that is the union between Christ and the church."
"The union we have with Christ in the gospel, and the transformation that union effects, is meant to be a visible sign, a proof, of the prior eternal union of Christ and the Father in the Trinity. So that when the world looked at those united to Christ, they could not help but see that Christ himself is one with the Father.
What is the point of our union with Christ? It is the glory of God. As Jesus concludes his prayer in John 17, 'I have made you known to them ... that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.'"
I'm not sure it is necessary to sum these up, lest I limit what they were saying. Ultimately marriage is a picture now of what is to come, therefore we must take it more seriously which limits its fragility. This union is serious, and we must take it more seriously.
My friend I had mentioned before, his wife told me in my last conversation with her that at one time she and her husband (my friend) were perfect for each other, but they no longer were. I, as graciously as I could, replied to her that their perfection for one another was not based on them, but rather on the union that God created. Therefore if they were perfect for one another at one time, then they still were. She disagreed with me because she was not able to connect with the whole concept of God, which was lost on her. I realized in that moment why her covenant with her husband was lost, because she had no concept of covenant at all.
We must keep the covenant God has established with us, the ultimate union, as the model for our covenants with our wives/husbands. It is a great picture of the gospel, and what greater thing could fuel our marriages than that perfect marriage with out Savior?
I pray for that for me, that I would really get that. And for those of you facing real difficulties in your marriages, I know this might be hard to swallow, and I mean not to minimize the situations that you are currently in. I mean I am a single guy, never been married, so what do I know really about the difficulties of marriage? Nothing really, except for that which I have gathered in my conversations and observations of people. I just ask you to consider first that which Christ has done for you, and allow that to fuel your love for your husband or wife, to the glory of God the Father, by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Over the past few months there have been some very big things happening in people's lives around me. One of my very close friends has begun to face some serious difficulties in his relationship with his wife. He has tried, and tried, and tried to reconcile this relationship but his wife is continually unwilling to do anything about it because they are "no longer perfect for each other." She is a different person she says, and I would agree with her, reasons for which I will spare.
In speaking with some other people about marriage it has become pretty clear to me that people my age who got married a few years ago are hitting serious road blocks in their respective marriages - road blocks that for some reason are seemingly impossible to overcome.
But it's not limited to people my age either. We even have an older guy living in our house who is suffering some serious issues in his marriage. And in the past year I have spoken to some other adults close to me about issues they have had, and questions that had been raised concerning their own marriage because of it.
So needless to say I have seen some pain as a result of rocky relationships in marriage. But I have also seen some very joyful experiences as well. Holly (my gf) and I have gone to 2 weddings in the past month, and there are several scheduled over the next few months that we are going to as well. So while it's a painful time for some, it is an extremely joyful time for others.
But from all of these experiences, the thing that has come to mind for me is that marriage can be extremely fragile if not handled carefully. And so for a guy like me who is currently not married, and is hoping to be eventually if not sooner, I have to question why that is. Because I for one can say that I do not want to experience what these people who are facing divorce and separations are facing. There is way too much pain to handle - and having counseled my brother through a divorce, and currently one of my best friends, I don't think I could handle that process.
But more than that, more than my feelings, more than the possibility of experiencing emotional pain, etc. there is something that must take precedent when it comes to marriage, and that is what marriage is ultimately meant to be: a covenant.
I was recently reading an article on boundless.org, and it had some things to say about marriage that I have felt for a long time and couldn't find the words to say. Here are some of the quotes from that article, but I would encourage you to go read it yourself:
"The union of marriage is not an alliance of families, with each partner representing a previous set of priorities and loyalties. No, and this was and remains quite radical, marriage is a union that dissolves the old bonds, the old loyalties, the old priorities, and creates one new family, with all that entails — one new set of priorities, one new set of fundamental loyalties."
"The ultimate point of marriage isn't your emotional satisfaction, but to make visible the gospel reality of Christ's love for the church and the church's love for Christ. The absolutely amazing truth of the gospel is that we who were separated and alienated from God have been united by faith to the Son he loves in the New Covenant of his grace. The marriage covenant illustrates the New Covenant; the marriage union points to that even more profound union between Christ and the church."
"The amazing thing that Paul reveals in Ephesians 5 is that the union between a husband and wife is ultimately beautiful because it too stands as a sign, a picture of something else. And that is the union between Christ and the church."
"The union we have with Christ in the gospel, and the transformation that union effects, is meant to be a visible sign, a proof, of the prior eternal union of Christ and the Father in the Trinity. So that when the world looked at those united to Christ, they could not help but see that Christ himself is one with the Father.
What is the point of our union with Christ? It is the glory of God. As Jesus concludes his prayer in John 17, 'I have made you known to them ... that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.'"
I'm not sure it is necessary to sum these up, lest I limit what they were saying. Ultimately marriage is a picture now of what is to come, therefore we must take it more seriously which limits its fragility. This union is serious, and we must take it more seriously.
My friend I had mentioned before, his wife told me in my last conversation with her that at one time she and her husband (my friend) were perfect for each other, but they no longer were. I, as graciously as I could, replied to her that their perfection for one another was not based on them, but rather on the union that God created. Therefore if they were perfect for one another at one time, then they still were. She disagreed with me because she was not able to connect with the whole concept of God, which was lost on her. I realized in that moment why her covenant with her husband was lost, because she had no concept of covenant at all.
We must keep the covenant God has established with us, the ultimate union, as the model for our covenants with our wives/husbands. It is a great picture of the gospel, and what greater thing could fuel our marriages than that perfect marriage with out Savior?
I pray for that for me, that I would really get that. And for those of you facing real difficulties in your marriages, I know this might be hard to swallow, and I mean not to minimize the situations that you are currently in. I mean I am a single guy, never been married, so what do I know really about the difficulties of marriage? Nothing really, except for that which I have gathered in my conversations and observations of people. I just ask you to consider first that which Christ has done for you, and allow that to fuel your love for your husband or wife, to the glory of God the Father, by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
i(dol)Phone 4
As many of you know, Apple promo'd their iPhone 4 yesterday. After viewing the video (which you can see by following the link below) there are a few things that I must say:
A of all, Steve Jobs & team...well done. I've never seen a phone that is more impressive than this one.
B of all, and this links with my first note, this phone is so impressive that as I watched the aforementioned video I found that I desired this phone. I desired it to the point that I would realize later was a form of worship.
Anyone reading this who is close to me knows my fascination for techie stuff, especially phones. I have been known to change phones like I change clothes. But last Christmas I got the iPhone 3G refurbished, and I've gotta say I love it. But even with this model I worship it to a certain extent. And somehow I feel better about it because I put a Bible app on it...It's my way of making my worship of something other than God justified. But so often I come back to the idea that this phone can often be my "golden calf."
So I am sitting at home watching this promo, and when it was over, my firs thought was, "I am so glad I don't have the means to get this phone now." Because people, if I had it, I might just be tempted to bow down to it. Not literally of course, but in heart there is a very high possibility of doing so.
Is there an "iPhone 4" in your life? What is it that you "bow down" to other than YHWH? What is it that takes His place in your life? It might just be the computer that you are reading this on. What would you do without it?
Maybe it's time for a retreat from our idols. It might just be necessary for your relationship with God to take a sabbatical from that thing (or things) in your life that take His place, that you might be wholeheartedly focused on your Creator.
Think on these things today. Pray over them. Go to the Word and seek God. And consider what it might take to return to the One who has created you in His image.
A of all, Steve Jobs & team...well done. I've never seen a phone that is more impressive than this one.
B of all, and this links with my first note, this phone is so impressive that as I watched the aforementioned video I found that I desired this phone. I desired it to the point that I would realize later was a form of worship.
Anyone reading this who is close to me knows my fascination for techie stuff, especially phones. I have been known to change phones like I change clothes. But last Christmas I got the iPhone 3G refurbished, and I've gotta say I love it. But even with this model I worship it to a certain extent. And somehow I feel better about it because I put a Bible app on it...It's my way of making my worship of something other than God justified. But so often I come back to the idea that this phone can often be my "golden calf."
So I am sitting at home watching this promo, and when it was over, my firs thought was, "I am so glad I don't have the means to get this phone now." Because people, if I had it, I might just be tempted to bow down to it. Not literally of course, but in heart there is a very high possibility of doing so.
Is there an "iPhone 4" in your life? What is it that you "bow down" to other than YHWH? What is it that takes His place in your life? It might just be the computer that you are reading this on. What would you do without it?
Maybe it's time for a retreat from our idols. It might just be necessary for your relationship with God to take a sabbatical from that thing (or things) in your life that take His place, that you might be wholeheartedly focused on your Creator.
Think on these things today. Pray over them. Go to the Word and seek God. And consider what it might take to return to the One who has created you in His image.
Friday, November 20, 2009
what is worship?
I recently had a conversation with another worship leader who said something so profound that I had to write it down, and it has shaped the way I look at worship from a holistic standpoint:
"So often we try and wrap up 'offering our bodies as living sacrifices' into 3 Crowder songs."
How true this is. Not that Crowder is bad; I'm as much a DC*B fan as anyone. But if we limit our worship to this, what are we missing?
Just something to think about.
"So often we try and wrap up 'offering our bodies as living sacrifices' into 3 Crowder songs."
How true this is. Not that Crowder is bad; I'm as much a DC*B fan as anyone. But if we limit our worship to this, what are we missing?
Just something to think about.
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